Guerilla Science

Note from Guerrilla: This experiment has been postponed due to an apparent strike by the subjects. Anyone who has raised plants knows that they have a strong sense of justice and, when they feel an injustice has been levied upon them, as in the case of scientific experimentation, they will practice civil disobedience: Root-ins, photosynthesis strikes, silence. However, though stubborn and shrewd, they are incapable of  comprehending deceit, and are easily outsmarted by humans since we are, of course, experts in this area. Therefore, I will let them think they have achieved victory and experiment upon them at a later date when they hardly expect it.





Introduction:

It has been well established in previous investigations that plants communicate chemically through the soil and air (lazy person will eventually insert citations here). It was noted by this observer one day that her own potted plants appeared to be communicating in quite a different manner: by touching their leaves together. In this observational study which will eventually be performed more rigorously, my Fern and African Violet (lazy person will eventually insert scientific names here) were used to demonstrate that plants grown separated in pots, in close proximity to one another, will grow towards one another regardless of the direction of the light.

Methods

My Fern and African Violet, in a direct affront to their autonomy and privacy, were inhumanely isolated in pots and subjected to this cruel experiment. The intention of this researcher, once this preliminary observational study is complete, is to commit more atrocities against plants in the interest of science by expanding her sample size and improving on her study design.

Results

Results will be posted in the form of photos. On the left is a picture of these two rascals caught in the act. Note the direction of the light. Of course, given the Fern's superior flexibility, it is the Fern that is the aggressor in this case. On the right is a photograph taken a few minutes later. The Fern has been moved away from the Violet so that the offending leaf is now approximately two centimeters away (this lazy researcher will use more exact measurements in the future more formal study). Photographs will now be taken and posted daily to see what transpires. Ha. Plant term. No pun intended.



Discussion

Once demonstrated, one can only guess what these mysterious creatures are up to. This lazy researcher is not about to speculate on the possibilities and will leave that part up to more focused individuals. At the risk of sounding like a lunatic, however, this very scientifically minded agnostic will draw one very general conclusion from these observations: there is more going on with plants than we know.